My Way to say no!

I hope I don’t drip any negativity right at the start of this read!! LOL. Noways, it is just a happy reading. Trust me, it is. Somewhere in the passage, I might throw some light on how I prefer to say No.

I remember I used to be a ‘Yes’ girl throughout the majority of my past. But the importance, courage and, timing to say no is an Art. It is almost impossible to say no without hurting the feelings and thus spoiling the momentum of the relationship. That’s something called collateral damage. I ‘admire’ those people who have a major in this art and, sometimes envy them too. One has to be a little shrewd, though, to major this power.

On the other hand, I prefer and ‘love’ to be in the category where people know how much collateral damage is worth it. There is a thin line in choosing self-worth, owning your decisions, and thus, saying no in the face versus giving the person a priority. I will make it more clear by quoting some examples from my recent experience.

The other day, my dear sister took me for hair styling. I loved a look that she hated. She did everything to change my decision, but I was rigid about my choice. I followed my heart. It was not something big for her to get upset, but I had to live with the hairstyle long after this. So it had to be my choice. It was a trivial issue but had a humungous impact on my personality, so I did say No to her. I somehow knew, I could.

Now comes a time when I said Yes to make things fall in place.Evidently, like situations come after ones marriage and, more so if you are a girl!! I have a very brief example citing this. So it was a time when I had to accompany the person in finding the perfect wedding venue for their wedding. Trust me, it is the last thing I am interested in since I didn’t even bother it for my marriage! At this time, I had a two-year-old, who had a runny nose, was thus cranky, frustrated due to the changing weather. This lengthy car trip was something I wanted to avoid. Seriously, I was happy, but not looking forward to going places, rejecting them, and then going to the next one. It did not need my advice probably, as the persons going themselves were the decision-makers of accounts and expectations from a wedding venue. But still, I said Yes, for the sake of feelings.

The above situations are very personal and do not always apply to some professional setup. But I have those examples too. I might include them in some other writing because they have a very different impact altogether.

So, the moral of the story is that be clear and straightforward that even if I am saying No, it doesn’t mean I care less. Meanwhile, the relationship we share with the other person needs to grow more if I had to say Yes where I wanted to say No. I am no master at saying No!! But I know how it works. I might get closer to balance it out one day.

Let me know what you think in the comments.

D.R.